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TEAMcommunication Chris Weathers
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Perception of Integration |
Perception of Delegation |
Getting plugged in |
Getting "dumped oon" |
Doing the work together |
You do it for me |
Sharing the work load |
You do what I don't want to do |
Perhaps you have perceived the negative spin of delegation as well. The positive perception of integration into a ministry speaks that your followers are active participants in the ministry, not just a part of the team when needed. In fact, a focused and healthy leader keeps a perception of active participation and not passive observation.
Love Through the Stratospheres
I’m now entering the realm of ‘teen land’. No, I’m not referring to my career as a Youth Pastor, but my life-long calling as a parent. My eldest daughter will soon be turning thirteen and has already become a faithful and vibrant part of our local church youth ministry. As I’ve learned from experienced parents of teens, one of the great challenges in our lives will be communication. Perhaps you can identify with James Dobson’s description of teen/parent communication - like that of an astronaut leaving earth. At age 11-12 everything’s going nice and smooth and then as the child reaches the adolescent stratosphere, slowly the communication is full of static and the opportunities become rare. Many days are spent in the ‘silent treatment’ with parents wondering what happened to their little girl/boy. Long about 18-19 years old, as the teen re-enters the communication stratosphere of adulthood, the parents start to hear a familiar voice again (just a bit deeper for boys). Sound familiar?
Eventually, three of my children will be in their teen years at the same time and I know all of our days will not be a bed of roses. Knowing that, Sara and I hope to be proactive for good communication. One great resource I’ve found helpful in ministry (and now for my home library), is a book entitled How to Get Your Teen to Talk to You (by Connie Grigsby and Kent Julian). As the title indicates, it focuses on learning how to listen to your teen rather than how to get your teen to listen. I recommend it for the following reasons:
The parent will gain greater appreciation for what’s happening in their teen’s life because teens are more willing to talk with us when they know we understand.
The authors affirm the parental role by recognizing parents as the most important people in the teen’s life (even if they won’t admit it).
The book’s instruction will equip the parent with practical parenting skills that will help in the various transitions.
It’s a resource that will encourage parents to hang in there because they know that giving up is not an option.
I’m willing to love my teen through every stratosphere. With the right tools (and lots of prayer), God will help me to be the listener my teen needs in her life.
PRIME TIME
In years past, prime time used to be about family viewing. A family could sit down together and watch good, wholesome TV without any of the profanity, violence, or sexual innuendos. That’s not the case anymore. Nevertheless, that doesn’t mean Prime Time has to be about TV. In our society, there are increasing pressures from jobs, schools, and kids’ activities. It is becoming more and more difficult for families today to spend quality time together. The thought I want to convey to you is that Prime Time is an opportunity to make Prime FAMILY Time.
“If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God's church?” (1 Tim. 3:5)
Contextually, this question is given to Bishops in the Church, but I submit it to all household leadership. Family needs to be a priority. God doesn’t want the family to suffer because I am so busy with the events of the church. My children need their father’s quality time and attention more than anything.
In our house, we try to set aside one night each week for Prime Time. Most often, it’s on Monday nights. I do all I can to keep from scheduling any church events. We limit our company and decide that whatever we’re going to do that night, we’re doing together. Several activities we’ve done together are –
- Making a family trip to Greenfield Village (my favorite place to go)
- Catching a family movie at the Dollar Theatre
- Playing Board Games in the dining room (they own me in Monopoly)
- Going for a bike ride to the park and getting an ice cream
- Preparing a fire in the fire pit and roasting hot dogs and having smores
- Going to an Apple Orchard together and having a picnic (this is a yearly activity in the Fall)
Not every family activity has to be an elaborate outing or planned event. Sticking around home and just "hanging out" can be just as fun. As you can tell, Prime Time is not about doing something costly to your budget. The only thing it has to cost you is your time and prime attention.
One result I have seen in my own life is this - as busy as I allow my schedule to become with church and other relationships, Prime Time has become almost like a guilt-free holiday in my conscience. When all of the many things that have to be done cross my mind, I have learned to give myself permission and tell my schedule, “Time Out! It’s Prime Time!” And that has meant more to my wife and children than any message I’ve preached or church event I’ve coordinated.
One evening, we had a special family night at church. In our small group time, the individual families were asked to discuss the following question, “What is one thing your family does together that you hope will never change?” Their answer surprised me, “Prime Time!” Because of that, I have become more disciplined about telling others no when asked to participate in other events.
No matter how old your children are, it’s never to late to spend some ‘prime time’ with them on a weekly basis.
Further links for creating great Prime Time activities for your home
www.familytime.com
www.familieswithpurpose.com
